So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
no, he came in my armpit
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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