the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize