sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
