At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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