Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize