do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
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After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
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Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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