Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize