he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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