I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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