Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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