I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
