i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
