Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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