I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
