Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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