Heybabeimwearingurpanties
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
