I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I just had sex on a roof
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
