I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
