He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
