after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I believe in your delicious
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
