So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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