i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
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