Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
