After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
