he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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