i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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