I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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