You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
