You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
