He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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