This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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