Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
