Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
