ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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