wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
