Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
