Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
