Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Enjoy the penises
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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