Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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