when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Randomize
