No more Irish car bombs ever.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I AM VODKA MAN
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
