you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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