So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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