She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
