Texts From Last Night

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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.

  (1-857): View more from Massachusetts

  Doors?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.

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  (857): I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now. (1-857): Doors? (857): Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet. http://tfl.nu/ic4r
  Replies (6) Good night (2264) Bad night (834)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad

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  (813): Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad http://tfl.nu/80vf
  Replies (23) Good night (1131) Bad night (3566)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.

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  (512): She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe. http://tfl.nu/piri
  Replies (27) Good night (933) Bad night (3044)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.

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  (908): Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat. http://tfl.nu/zq2c
  Replies (22) Good night (1404) Bad night (3580)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them

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  (203): the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them http://tfl.nu/iz6h
  Replies (16) Good night (574) Bad night (3677)
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  (315): View more from New York

  yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.

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  (315): yo dibs on the gosselin haired one. http://tfl.nu/wh5x
  Replies (7) Good night (785) Bad night (3754)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"

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  (319): By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection" http://tfl.nu/gcjm
  Replies (14) Good night (5300) Bad night (1131)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.

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  (561): The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy. http://tfl.nu/an4v
  Replies (30) Good night (2074) Bad night (6120)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?

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  (717): Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear? http://tfl.nu/anmu
  Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (1711)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.

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  (915): Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn. http://tfl.nu/g641
  Replies (3) Good night (1646) Bad night (621)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.

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  (978): The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty. http://tfl.nu/l80d
  Replies (10) Good night (1987) Bad night (498)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.

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  (615): How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them. http://tfl.nu/5mum
  Replies (14) Good night (2028) Bad night (824)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?

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  (360): Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two? http://tfl.nu/t4gj
  Replies (5) Good night (491) Bad night (926)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.

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  (602): Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing. http://tfl.nu/o82d
  Replies (4) Good night (817) Bad night (448)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.

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  (262): Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God. http://tfl.nu/qyus
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (221)

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