Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !

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(310): View more from California

Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.

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(425): View more from Washington

I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(914): View more from New York

i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"

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(937): View more from Ohio

Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.

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(903): View more from Texas

I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!

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