The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
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I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!