That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.