Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
