Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize