and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
