Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
