sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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