I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
