If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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