I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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