Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
