ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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