chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
