we made out on top of his cat.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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