i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
there is puke in my bra ... again
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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