I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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