This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
no you cant smoke seaweed
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
