i came on her dog
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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