hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
