How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm both gender and math confused
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize